Of Sound Mind to Marry: A Reality Check from the Marriage Counselor for Pre-Weds

Up to 95 percent of all Americans get married at some point in their lives, and each year more than 2 million marriages take place in this nation. But the divorce rate as we enter the new millennium is over 50 percent. What is going wrong? Going through the motions of getting married isn't nearly as challenging as getting to know each other on a deeper level before the ceremony says Psychologist Jim Bierman.

His book guides engaged couple through an enlightening process of self-examination and us-examination; helping them gain a greater understanding of their partner, of the person they are becoming as part of a couple, and of the marriage they are about to create. Written for pre-weds, their families, close friends, and the professionals who counsel them, this thought-provoking text explores thinking about--and talking about--delicate issues, from love, communication, friendship, and sex, to in-law relations, money matters and prenuptial agreements, and how children will change a relationship.

When couples meet the challenge of deeply understanding each other and what they expect out of marriage, their chances of enjoying a satisfied, intimate, and stable married life are greatly enhanced. By the end of this book, pre-weds will have grown from the altered state of being in love to being of sound mind to marry, says Dr.

Bierman. One of the last things couples planning a wedding usually want to do is talk about the realities of becoming husband and wife. Most would rather discuss wedding cake flavors and honeymoon plans than their views on children and finances, their personal insecurities and potential struggles, says Dr.

Bierman, adding that even counselors and clergy usually do not tread into the area of these issues that can be deep, upsetting, and disagreement-inspiring. But better that before marriage than afterward. This book raises all the controversial yet crucial issues for pre-weds. And that will help couples wed with far more understanding of themselves and each other, with more foresight and sound thinking, so that they'll not only be thrilled to be marrying the one they have chosen, but they'll know that their decision is a wise one.