Description
The book is about how one person can make a big change in a marriage without the help of their spouse. It has psychological theory, practical advice, and personal narrative. The book is written by Winifred Reilly, a marriage therapist.
With a focus on self-empowerment and resilience, this refreshing and witty relationship guide has a reassuring counterintuitive message for unhappy spouses: you only need one partner to initiate far-reaching positive change in a marriage.
Conventional wisdom says that it takes two to turn a troubled marriage around and that
both partners must have a shared commitment to change. So when couples cant agree on howor whetherto make their marriage better, many give up or settle for a less-than-satisfying marriage (or think the only way out is divorce).
Fortunately, there is an alternative. What distinguishes Reillys book is that she says a warring couple dont have to agree on the goal of staying together; it takes one person changing, not both, to make a marriage work (
The New York Times).
Marriage and family therapist Winifred Reilly has this message for struggling partners:
Take the lead. Doing so is effectiveand powerful. Through Reillys own story of reclaiming her now nearly forty-year marriage, along with anecdotes from many clients shes worked with, youll learn how to:
-Focus on your own behaviors and change them in ways that make you feel good about yourself and your marriage
-Take a firm stand for what truly matters to you without arguing, cajoling, or resorting to threats
-Identify the big picture issues at the basis of your repetitive fightsand learn how to unhook from them
-Be less reactive, especially in the face of your spouses provocations
-Develop the strength and stamina to be the sole agent of change
Combining psychological theory, practical advice, and personal narrative,
It Takes One to Tango is a wise and uplifting (Dr. Ellyn Bader, Director of The Couples Institute) guide that will empower those who choose to take a bold, proactive approach to creating a loving and lasting marriage.